Relish

2023 was a pretty wild and crazy ride. Terrifying more than once, due to our own personal housing crises, on the one hand, and exhilaratingly energizing career-wise on the other. By December, the music-making aspects of my career had accelerated to such a fever pitch that the constant hum in my ear wasn’t just tinnitus anymore: it was the actual live music I was making.

So, when the idea of driving to Manitoba for the holidays instead of flying came up, I jumped on it: 3 days later, after barreling down the trans-Canada with just my family in the car and a personal phone ban, I arrived in Manitoba with a complete energy shift. I was determined to do less running around than usual this time around: trips back home usually mean a lot of time rushing back and forth between my mother’s place and my in-laws for meals in between errands, and sometimes quick visits with childhood friends. Usually, I build an enormous check-list of activities to do on my holidays. And then judge the success of my holiday by the number of things I’ve checked off the list. By day 3 in the homeland, that old-itch was starting to surface.

Then I saw my Uncle Frank, my dad’s oldest living brother. There were 10 boys and 4 girls in Dad’s family (well, 5, with one still-born). Now there are 4 brothers left. I think Frank is 94. Sharp as a tack, he doesn’t miss a word: in fact, I bet he has 20/20 hearing if that is a thing. Uncle Frank and Aunt Sara live down the hall in the same residence as my mom.

Frank was in the library, across from my mom’s apartment, puzzling. I went over to say hello, and wish him a merry Christmas, and was instantly drawn in by the puzzle’s magnetic force. “Those are the edge pieces over there,” Frank said in his quiet way. Surprised to find the easiest part already organized but not put together, without even asking, I launched in as my Uncle worked on a bit in the middle. We worked quietly. And I noticed how just being around him slowed me down in that old familiar way that being around my dad used to do for me.

Last year’s holiday puzzle: decidedly NOT relaxing!

I asked Frank about some of the Unger characteristics I had heard a distant relative talk about in the past. I think this cousin-uncle had told me that Ungers (my dad and Frank’s mom’s family) were either entrepreneurial or artistic.

Frank said, “Oh, I don’t have any of that!”

“What do you have, then?”, I asked.

“I’m all Dueck” he said.

“And what is ‘Dueck?’” I prompted.

“Slow,” he replied. And we both laughed.

Dueck Slow.

I don’t want to make assumptions about the rest of my dad’s family, but I can assure you that “methodical” is the word that defined my dad to a “T”.

After a few minutes, I realized I needed to move on to find where my kids were in the building, but each day coming back, I could count on those few minutes of quiet, of slowing down and being in the moment with Uncle Frank, until finally that puzzle was finished.

On the long drive back to Ottawa, made longer by a super fun detour to Minneapolis including the Mall of America’s amusement park and a visit with friends, we filled the car’s microclimate with “circle of songs” – where we each choose what song we will listen to next (this inevitably involves getting Rickrolled), solving riddles, and Kids Against Maturity (the poop and pee version of Cards Against Humanity). We also had more serious talks, including what our Word of the Year might be, goals and plans for the coming adventurous year we are about to have, and we made a list of our family values.

After four days of driving, of slowing down, the word popped in my head the morning I woke up after sleeping in my own bed. It may have been prompted by the pickled turnips I ate the night before, but I realized what my word for the year was:

RELISH.

This year, I want to take pleasure in the moment – whether it’s a high-speed roller coaster or a Dueck Slow type of situation. Relish it or maybe even revel in it. Which is also a popular type of food where I come from.

Despite what it says on the box, we Manitobans call these Revels.

Relish.

How about you, what is your word for 2024? Leave a note below in the comments!